Please forgive me for not allowing you to order my steps. There were times you told me to go to right and I decided to go left. Please forgive for allowing fear to overtake me. There were times you told me to do, to say and to go. I was so fearful of how it would be received that I was disobedient to what you told me to do. I realized that delayed disobedience is still disobedience. Please forgive for the times I knew I was worthy to be loved and was afraid. I was so worried that I would be hurt like the last time that I was guarded and never really gave my heart, shared my wounds and allows myself to be vulnerable. Please forgive me for accepting the words that others called and labeled me. You never called me those names and I never should have answered or accepted those names. Those names were degrading and hurtful. I realize that I am worth more than that.
Please forgive me for doubting in my faith and not trusting you totally. My mouth said I believe, but my heart and faith said something different. I realized that you have blessed me and protected me before. Help me with my unbelief when those moments arise. Please forgive me for turning my back on you, when you have always been there with me and for me. There were times that I know I disappointed you, but you were always there with your arms wide open.
Please forgive me for withholding unforgiveness in my heart. There were times when I spoke the words you are forgiven to someone and still held unforgiveness in my heart. I realize the same grace that you extended to me, must be extended to others. Please forgive me for not loving myself like I should. There were times when I knew you loved me, but I did not love me and allowed others to be disrespectful to me. There are so many things that I could ask you for, but you already know what’s in my heart. Even when I withhold, God you already know.
Please forgive me for not forgiving myself. I know that everyone makes mistakes, but I was so hard on myself when I came up short. God allow me to be free from me. Allow me to walk in the fullness of joy and peace. Allow me to remember that there is no mistake, misstep and stumble that you would not guide me through. Thank you, Lord, for simply loving me.
Trying To Forgive Me
Until Friday..........Lady T
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